>As a point of unlikely interest, I keep writing “Untied States” while inputting data. As a point of even unlikelier interest, a long time ago I sang in a punk band and wrote a song called “U.S.I. (United States of Interference).” A decade and a half of troubling efforts to reconcile these states in the mind, both consciously and subconsciously.

“Orange Crush” comes on the headphones and suddenly I am sitting in Biology II again. I’m 16, R.E.M. is one of my favorite bands, and I’m harboring a smoldering 3-year crush on my good friend K. It’s a crush that never goes anywhere, just like so many other crushes. Curiously enough, when this song first sent the synapses twitching and flickering on their merry way, I did not consciously make the connection between the song title and the memory. Perhaps less curious is the fact that “Orange Crush” is not about that kind of crush.

Back in 2007 I ponder the idea of the past as a closed book. Is this ever a good idea? Is a person who treats their past like a closed book being true to their present selves? Painful though it might be, our past is part of who we are today. And sometimes taking a peek back at those pages is worthwhile. I am embarrassed at this metaphor, but there you go.