free travel advice

While walking at the harbor, it’s best to avoid large groups of people wearing matching shirts. One is never quite sure what these people are doing, but whatever it is can’t be good. Particularly insidious are the seemingly disparate groups whose members are all wearing plain white t-shirts. No identifying marks indicates a sure sign of criminal activity, or possibly a cult.
Insider tip: Avoid at all costs.

While walking at the harbor, it’s best to avoid the urban pirate ship. Individuals paid to dress up like pirates gambol on the ship’s deck in the midst of a gaggle of confused tourists. Why did I allow my family to badger me into paying $20 per person for this nonsense, thinks that one morose guy on the port side. Other tourists walking around the harbor spot the ship and excitedly take photos. The guy who drives the weird boat that scoops up trash from the harbor looks bored and/or disappointed with his life as he waits for the ‘pirate ship’ to circle around, thus freeing his vessel from temporary bondage. Potential for heckling from the ‘pirates’ is suspected to be high.
Insider tip: Walk fast in the opposite direction.

While walking at the harbor, watch out for tourists riding bicycles, most of whom appear to have not ridden a bicycle since their training wheels were mistakenly removed at age 6. If one finds oneself in the path of one of these hazards, stay calm. While it appears that the bicycle is on a collision course with your personage, anecdotal evidence suggests that these people do have some semblance of control over their vehicles. It’s likely that, at the last second, they will veer off into the path of some less-suspecting pedestrian.
Insider tip: Get your own bike and challenge these villains to a bike jousting match.

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  1. Sounds like you may have indulged yourself in some premature scorn-face, while walking at the harbour…



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