A Google search for the phrase “insane humans” (without quotes) returns this blog at #5 in the list. This seems noteworthy. It’s good to know that I am fulfilling my mission, which clearly includes providing information about insane humans from the most reliable source: one of their own. I sincerely hope that one day this blog may come in at #1 in the list, and in the meantime I will continue to diligently and tirelessly document further insane human activity. Thank you.
clocking in at #5
Posted by sean on July 15, 2008
https://sd-stewart.com/2008/07/15/clocking-in-at-5/
dinner guest
[photo by Denis-Carl Robidoux, used under Creative Commons]
As I sat down at the table for dinner last night, I looked out the window and there was a barred owl in a nearby tree staring right back at me with its depthless black eyes (think Brother Justin in Carnivale). The owl hung out there on the same branch for a good 45 minutes. At one point, a ragtag band of songbirds landed on some branches about six feet away from the owl and raised a noisy ruckus, trying to scare it away. But it remained impassively in place, occasionally swiveling its big head from left to right, or lifting a talon to scratch its fluffy body. Every once in a while something would catch its interest and it would zero in for a closer look. Clearly the owl’s presence had stirred up the local songbird population, as the air was resonant with nervous chatter and warning cries. A predator in our midst! Raise the shields! I found myself cheering on the brave cluster of titmice, chickadees, and cardinals that threw down their petty differences to unite against a common foe. It was quite a dinnertime show!
Posted by sean on July 15, 2008
https://sd-stewart.com/2008/07/15/dinner-guest/
everybody needs more unicorns in their lives
While out running in the hot steamy afternoon air yesterday, I came upon a house with a wide broad porch. On either side of two large columns flanking the porch entrance stood two life-sized silver and pink unicorns facing each other. I have seen few things more wondrous in my lifetime. I could barely restrain myself from racing across the lawn, leaping upon the back of one of those elegant beauties, and riding off down the rainbow trail to Fairyland.
Posted by sean on July 14, 2008
https://sd-stewart.com/2008/07/14/everybody-needs-more-unicorns-in-their-lives/
time is a zip tie pulling tight around my summer
Yes, so it is nearing mid-July and I have not done much with my summer beyond log a lot of miles on the bike. People keep asking me if I have any vacation plans. Believe me, I wish I did. I desperately need to lie on a deserted beach for about two weeks. But the chances of that happening are slim in these uncertain times.
My dead cat keeps visiting me in my dreams. They are not bad dreams. I wake up feeling like I was with him. In the dreams, I stroke his soft fur and he responds to my touch, curling his paws around my arm the way he always used to do. I feel like he is trying to tell me that he is still around and that he is happy. I miss him so much. Sometimes when I come home I just want him to be there, yearning to be held. I love his sister, and I am grateful that she is still with me. But they were always like night and day. And she is not meant to be a substitute for him.
Out there is not the answer. It’s in here and we’re breathing it, we’re speaking it, in short quiet moments of insignificance. Always when least expected, and often when most needed.
Posted by sean on July 11, 2008
https://sd-stewart.com/2008/07/11/time-is-a-zip-tie-pulling-tight-around-my-summer/
i’m not too sure about this flatt & scruggs cd…
Well, my new field glasses finally arrived. I’m totally stoked. I gave up my Friday bike ride to wait for UPS, a decision for which the ramifications of are just now being made known. It’s never good for me to stay in the house most of the day. Regardless, I’ve been making good use of my time by spying on the birds. Upon closer inspection of the nuthatches I’ve decided that they are the street toughs of the songbird world. Most songbirds are pretty cute, and even when they bicker it’s still cute. But the nuthatches are just kind of ragged and surly. And they look really mean when they scare off the other birds. They flare up their wings and open their beaks really wide. Despite this, they are very curious birds to watch, and they move around in the most bizarre ways. I realize I’m repeating myself about the nuthatches and that most people will find this incredibly boring, but I don’t care. In other news the robins nesting in the oak tree out front have had their babies. I was spying on them today and saw their little mouths open wide waiting for mom and dad to drop some goodies in. The cardinal young have grown to about teenage size. I spotted a young female at the feeder this morning. A lot of the adults are molting (unless they all have mites or some sort of disease, which seems unlikely), which means we’ve seen a lot of cardinals showing up lately sporting mohawks or vulture-like bald heads. It’s kind of creepy. I’ve been reading about the phenomenon online, and it’s been said to be uncommon, yet we’ve seen a lot of these birds recently.
Posted by sean on June 27, 2008
https://sd-stewart.com/2008/06/27/im-not-too-sure-about-this-flatt-scruggs-cd/
miscellany
Some (or one) of the squirrels has finally figured out how to reach the birdfeeder. I don’t know how he did it…must’ve scaled the outside wall of the house because it’s too far to jump from the nearest tree. The other day he was sitting in the tray under the feeder, filling his face with seed. Today he was actually sitting on the feeder itself. When I scared him, he leapt off the feeder, which is a good 20 feet up, and flew through the air, landing square on his feet on the ground. I was impressed, to say the least. Hopefully it’s just been a fluke, but I tend to think he’s probably out there spreading the word to all his squirrel buddies.
There have been a lot of nuthatches around and they’ve gotten really bossy. They flare up their wings and scare off the smaller birds. For some reason, they remind me of the Joker in Batman.
The mourning doves eat tons of seed. Right now there are four of them on top of the birdfeeder and another two sitting on the ledge. It’s ridiculous. They are also really messy eaters, but luckily the new tray catches most of what they dump out as they eat. I think they work in tandem: one sits on the feeder ledge scooping seed off the edge down to the one below that’s sitting in the tray. Actually I don’t think they’re bright enough to be doing this on purpose, but it sure seems that way.
I finally spotted a hummingbird at the feeder out front. That was exciting!
Yesterday I went for a 50 mile bike ride. I saw a deer, a groundhog, a rabbit, chipmunks, squirrels, and a lot of birds: the full roster of suburban wildlife. I have too much time on my hands, and I feel like I fritter it away. I don’t do anything productive. I sit and watch the birds or I ride my bike. I drink too much coffee. Sometimes I cook or bake. This morning I made a no-bake pie. It took about 5 minutes. I’m not dissatisfied or discontent. Or maybe I am. I don’t know. I just feel like I waste a lot of time. But I’m not sure what I could be doing that would make me feel better about how I spend my time. I guess that mostly I regret not writing more, but I’m just not motivated right now. And when you’re not motivated, nothing good comes out.
I’m glad it’s summer. I’m glad I’ve had so many opportunities to go on long rides. I wish my friends hadn’t left, but I know they’re having a great time.
I wish I knew what I should be doing with myself.
Posted by sean on June 20, 2008
https://sd-stewart.com/2008/06/20/miscellany/
monday rant
President Shrub has this to say about how to deal with the current oil/gas crisis:
“I’ve proposed to the Congress that they open up ANWR, open up the Continental Shelf, and give this country a chance to help us through this difficult period by finding more supplies of crude oil, which will take the pressure off the price of gasoline,” Bush said Monday.
Every time I think he couldn’t possibly say something even more asinine, he goes off and does just that.
This is his solution? Look for more oil?? The lack of creativity and foresight in that solution is staggering. When I think about what Planet Bush would look like, I see oil wells as far as the eye can see and nothing else. And then when the last well runs dry, we all just set on each other like a pack of hyenas, cannibalizing the last bits of life left on the planet, until finally the very last one of us chokes on a stray bone, dies, and our once green Earth dwindles forlornly around the sun for another few millenia, slowly baking into oblivion.
Meanwhile, Obama is spotted out biking with his family. So help me, I will vote for this man, if only because he rides a bike. All I ever saw Bush ride, other than the coattails of his family name, was a Segway…and he couldn’t even stay on.
Posted by sean on June 9, 2008
https://sd-stewart.com/2008/06/09/monday-rant/
the dark place
I woke up last night from a dream where I was lying in bed and couldn’t breathe. There was nothing I could do or say…I just lay there silently choking to death. Sometimes things come along that can’t be shrugged off. And when they do, they trigger a flare from a deep well of banished thoughts and feelings. The urge to sabotage all that is good and pure rises up from the long-cold ashes of the last flare that burned short but fiery. Sometimes, crouching in the dim light of that flare, I want to stab the past in the eye with a pencil. But it’s eyeless and hard to pin down. And then when I stumble into the dark place I’m always still surprised to find such easily corroded materials. Is it the new air that circulates around them, setting off a new round of oxidization? Even now, so many years later, when I’ve struggled so hard to reach the center and stay there, I still have to face these rusted thoughts. Sometimes things come along and heft their weight onto your chest, pressing down on your rib cage until you finally react. And hopefully somewhere within the cracked and and bruised ribs, the wheezing breaths, the bloody foam filling your throat, there is a tiny ghost bird fighting to make it to the surface, to fix its beady black eyes on you and flap its miniature wings in disapproval. It is this…this simple gesture from the wild, apart from the ugliness and flawed brokenheartedness of humanity, that will snap you to attention, will drive you to stand and clear the blood from your throat and speak again out from behind the dirty shroud of inner weakness we all share.
Posted by sean on June 5, 2008
https://sd-stewart.com/2008/06/05/the-dark-place/
variation on the list a la cpz
1. Baltimore orioles (the bird, not the team) on Falls Road and in my dream.
2. Scorching 60 miles (through the rain) to Gettysburg for the bluegrass fest.
3. Long solo rides in the county.
4. Snotty cyclists in the county who don’t wave: you are a nasty festering sore on the otherwise beautiful thing that is cycling.
5. Cyclists in the county who wave: you are awesome.
6. Hanging out with B&L: I love you.
7. More sightings of the noisy but elusive catbird.
8. Summer at my house.
9. Drivers who scream at me to use the bike trail while I’m riding on Falls Road: go to hell. It is my legal right to ride on the road, and I will ride there if I damn well please.
10. Drivers in general: go to hell. And take your blasted cars with you. Seriously, I’m at the end of my rope with you people.
11. Cookies from AR.
12. Patricia Piggleton.
13. Free vegan feast from the Hare Krishnas, even if they did try to convert me.
14. Bill Monroe.
15. Thomas Merton.
16. Dear friends in Colorado.
17. Commuting on my Nishiki.
18. Every Friday Dessert Club, despite its recent hiatus.
19. My legal counsel *heart*.
20. Living the life of Scorchy McScorcherson.
Posted by sean on June 1, 2008
https://sd-stewart.com/2008/06/01/variation-on-the-list-a-la-cpz/
thomas merton
I have always held a certain fascination with monks. At various times in my life, I’ve wondered if I should enter a monastery. A life of seclusion, contemplation, freedom from the burdens of modern society: it all sounds good to me. Of course, I’m not too keen on the abstinence thing, but I suppose it wouldn’t be such a special way of life if some sacrifices weren’t made. Lately I have been reading some of Trappist monk Thomas Merton’s writings and very much enjoying them. I just wanted to share a couple of quotes that resonated with me. I think Thomas and I would’ve had a few things to talk about, had we ever met.
“Technology has its own ethic of expediency and efficiency. What can be done efficiently must be done in the most efficient way—even if what is done happens, for example, to be genocide or the devastation of a country by total war. Even the long-term interests of society, or the basic needs of man himself, are not considered when they get in the way of technology. We waste natural resources, as well as those of undeveloped countries, iron, oil, etc., in order to fill our cities and roads with a congestion of traffic that is in fact largely useless, and is a symptom of the meaningless and futile agitation of our own minds.”
“The attachment of the modern American to his automobile, and the symbolic role played by his car, with its aggressive and lubric design, its useless power, its otiose gadgetry, its consumption of fuel, which is advertised as having almost supernatural power…this is where the study of American mythology should begin.
Meditation on the automobile, what it is used for, what it stands for—the automobile as weapon, as self-advertisement, as brothel, as a means of suicide, etc.—might lead us at once into the heart of all contemporary American problems: race, war, the crisis of marriage, the flight from reality into myth and fanaticism, the growing brutality and irrationality of American mores.”
Posted by sean on May 19, 2008
https://sd-stewart.com/2008/05/19/thomas-merton/
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