The other day was sitting on a rock outcropping with AR, gazing down on a river and across at leafless beech trees and listening to long lonely trains rolling to the city, a late osprey charging after them as if to hitch a ride, its cry wilder than anything we have to offer. The other day was also another acceptance and feeding chickadees from my hand. Even in this overly manufactured living space nature offers us redemption from our countless sins against it. I am grateful.
All posts in category urban nature
bobcat
In the woods I came upon a young bobcat stalking a rabbit.
My arrival on the scene gave the rabbit the window it needed to escape.
The bobcat rose from its crouch, turned and stared me down before slinking off into the woods.
When I got home a mouse was living in my stove.
Outside a mockingbird splashed luxuriantly in the bird bath.
The orange cat next door was hungry.
I am feeling here and there, but mostly there.
Posted by sean on September 13, 2011
https://sd-stewart.com/2011/09/13/bobcat/
institutionalized
Due to cat needing vet visits, I spent two days working from home, driving Em El down south for work and picking her up in the evening. I haven’t commuted by car in years, so it was quite a shock to my system. Blood pressure rises, teeth gritted, eyes glaze over as you follow the same route over and over. I’m used to seeing the stupid things drivers pull as I ride my bike, but it’s totally different when you’re driving. It actually bothers me more, probably because I’m already extremely agitated just from the mere fact of being behind the wheel. Anyway, it got me thinking about people who commute the same route for years on end. Every day, a vacant thousand-yard stare fixed on the traffic lights ahead. The rote of it all would kill me in a matter of months.
So after the storms pass, and the dishes are drying in the rack, I step out into the cool air. That old cottonwood out back sings its timeless song with nothing more than leaves in the wind and I am so thirsty to hear it. I want to go to sleep listening to nothing but that. It takes me back to, of all places, Lucy Park and the hidden trails I found that one day, winding alongside the chocolate brown river. After a deep and full night of cottonwood sleep I want to wake up to the high fluted serenades of the thrushes. I want to turn my head to the window and breathe in the meadow breeze as it fills the room. I am so hungry for what feeds me. So desperate in this urban confusion. I keep fitting one leghold trap after another onto these withered limbs.
I can’t stop hearing Bill Callahan sing, “My ideals have got me on the run…towards my connection with everyone. My ideals have got me on the run…it’s my connection to everyone.”
I don’t even know anymore what my ideals are, if I even ever had a clear idea. I’m so shifty and drifty, I’m barely able to pin myself down most days. And I’m certainly not running anymore. Treading murky water, perhaps. As for my connections, they are few and far between. Far in miles and farther yet in states of mind.
I don’t want to become institutionalized. I really don’t. I know that much. Maybe that’s an ideal? It’s something I’ll keep fighting against as long as I have the strength, even if it’s with my last few ounces.
Posted by sean on June 4, 2010
https://sd-stewart.com/2010/06/04/institutionalized/
woodcock-blocked
Yesterday, the dulcet tones of the resident mockingbird guided me through my morning rituals. Once the eyes and ears have awakened to nature’s wonder, they just keep opening wider each day. Even in this broken and struggling city, there are many dazzling natural phenomena to discover. Often they are subtle and may take time to become attuned to, but with a little searching a reward will come. And it will keep paying out over a lifetime.
In that spirit, we set out one night last week to look for American Woodcocks at a local park. I’d yet to lay eyes or ears on this elusive and fascinating bird. A report on a birding discussion list tipped me off to their presence at this particular park, and so it seemed like a good opportunity. During spring months, the male woodcocks come out at dusk in open fields to perform their “sky dance” (as described by Aldo Leopold) in hopes of attracting a mate. We arrived at the park around 7:30 PM and walked down the trail in the fading light. About a quarter mile in, we heard several woodocks making their “peent” calls. Soon we arrived at the power line cut, a broad open area, and found two other birders staked out below the trail at what sounded like the epicenter of the “peenting” activity. We hung around for about ten minutes, until my companion began showing heightened signs of anxiety concerning the rapidly increasing darkness. No flight displays had been observed, but I reluctantly headed back down the trail. As we neared the parking area, we saw a truck with its lights on and a ranger walking around. Two other cars besides ours were present. We reached our car just as the ranger was copying down the license plate number onto a ticket. I approached him and explained that we were looking for woodcocks, thinking that a park ranger would share the enthusiasm of people using the park to observe nature. Instead I was met with a blank stare, followed by a typical verbose string of law enforcement pedantry, whereby arbitrary rules are repeated ad nauseum in the tone and manner with which one usually addresses a disobedient toddler. Yes, officer, I heard you the first of the now six times (and counting!) that you have told me the park closes at sunset. Thank you for pointing out in an incredulous tone that it’s now well past that point in time. It’s a pity that the woodcock is unwilling to accommodate the draconian time constraints you impose upon well-meaning folks who endeavor to quietly observe this marvel of the natural world. Thankfully, our new friend was kind enough to let us off with a carefully enunciated and frequently repeated warning. Not so lucky were the owners of that Toyota Prius parked next to our car, who were undoubtedly still ravaging naked through the woods when we left, setting random fires and hurling empty whiskey bottles at the local deer.
I know that park rangers are just following orders, and there are perhaps (although in this location doubtfully so) people who shouldn’t be allowed in parks after dark. And maybe that’s the problem: it would be considered “discriminatory” to ban certain people but allow others, so as a result we all suffer. But if there were no limits on public land, would it all just end up trashed? It’s a tough question to answer, because by answering yes we acknowledge that people are essentially programmed to self-destruct, or at least to destroy the planet that sustains their existence. And certainly history has more than hinted at this predisposition. By answering no, on the other hand, we are branded as naive by those who set the rules. It’s a conversation that could proceed in a perpetual circle.
All philosophical musings aside, I just want to see the woodcock spiral toward the sky. A simple and innocent enough desire, or so I thought. But I don’t want to be harassed by some park cop in the process. Why is that so much to ask?
Posted by sean on March 26, 2010
https://sd-stewart.com/2010/03/26/woodcock-blocked/
serendipity
It was quite birdy this morning! Although Larry, Moe, and Curly (the three squirrels) brought along a friend (Shemp, perhaps?) for their now-daily assault on the feeders, there were still a lot of birds waiting around in the crabapple tree and up on the power lines for their turn. Unfortunately, squirrels don’t know how to share (even with their own kind), and so there was more squirrel feeding going on than actual bird feeding. Surprisingly, later on a European Starling appeared at the feeder tray while the Mourning Doves were having a go. I think this may be the first time at the new house that I’ve seen one at the feeders.
The two highlights for the morning, though, didn’t happen at the feeder. The first one occurred as I was preparing to leave for work. I took one last look out the kitchen window and my jaw dropped as a Great Blue Heron flew low not far above the roof lines across the alley and then over the house. Perhaps it was heading for Lake Montebello? Although I haven’t been over there recently, and it may be frozen over. Not much other open water nearby. But it’s always a good sign when my spirit bird appears. And a new yard bird, as well!
The second highlight happened during my morning commute. Today was the first day I biked to work after the double blizzard. As a result, I had to alter some sections of my route due to traffic congestion and ice-covered roads. Inconvenient as it may have been, I was unexpectedly rewarded when I turned onto one road and heard the “kee-aah, kee-aah” of a Red-Shouldered Hawk. It was so loud that I just about fell off my bike! I navigated through some snow onto the side of the road and had some good looks at this noble bird as it surveyed the urban landscape from its perch high up in a tree. I wonder if it was the same one I saw on Sunday, soaring above the neighborhood?
Posted by sean on February 17, 2010
https://sd-stewart.com/2010/02/17/serendipity/

