owlish

While making dinner in the kitchen last night, I heard a great commotion among the songbirds in the side yard. It’s probably that owl again, I thought. Sure enough, when I pulled back the curtain and peered out the window I saw a large barred owl perched in literally the same exact place on the same exact branch as last time. Likely to be the same owl, I figured. The tufted titmice were leading the mob, as usual, sounding the alarm for all the other birds in the area. There is something about these tiny birds banding together in the face of danger that really gets to me. They are so brave! Here is a giant predator many, many times larger than they are, and yet they boldly confront it with no sign of fear! If only all of us humans displayed such bravado. Perhaps then there wouldn’t be so many downtrodden among us. It’s staggering to think of a world in which everyone refused to be bullied, and instead stood proud and defiant in the face of abusive authority.

field notes, annotated

1. Catbirds are taunting me from the underbrush.

Generally speaking, I go birding at the worst possible times, like the middle of the day. I set low expectations. I’m happy if I successfully id one new bird. Since I am pretty new to birding, this usually makes it easy for me to have a good day. I am easily excited by birds that most expert birders are probably too jaded to appreciate anymore. I have not even ever gone birding at the most appropriate times, like 6 AM. I have said to myself, when visiting particular spots, that I should come back to the same spot early some morning. But I haven’t ever even set my alarm that early for birding, never mind setting it and then just shutting it off and going back to sleep, which would be the likely result.

2. I settle in at my favorite spot. The only bird I saw on the walk in was a single male Northern Cardinal. After a few minutes, I hear approaching dogs, then a voice asks if I’ve seen anything good. I turn to see a friendly older couple standing behind where I am perched on a concrete structure of unknown purpose. “Just getting started,” I explain. If they are seasoned birders they likely thought me crazy. Just getting started at 2 PM. Right.

The thing is that I’m not obsessed with numbers. I’ve been dutifully marking birds off in my field guide as I identify them, but I’m not keeping a running tally anywhere. I figure I’ve got the rest of my life to watch birds, and I’ll just keep plugging away for the fun of it. Maybe that’s why I don’t get up at the crack of dawn to go birding. I would be way too overstimulated if I were to walk into the woods and see or hear 50+ birds in the course of an hour or two. I’m just getting started here, so I want to take it slow.

3. I spot a pair of promising orange-looking songbirds in a tree across the shallow lagoon in front of me. They are elusive, though, and I can’t make out much in the way of field marks. My best guess is they are immature Baltimore Orioles. As I flip through the field guide I hear some splashing noise, as if someone is walking through the water about 100 feet or so away from where I’m sitting. I look up and see a female deer walking away from me through the shallow water. I train my field glasses on her and just as I focus in, she pauses to squat and casually expel a steady stream of urine into the water. As she does her business, her head moves back and forth as if she’s checking to see if anyone is watching. At one point she turns around and looks directly at me. When she’s done, she saunters over to the shore of a small island in the marsh and nibbles on some plants before disappearing from view.

4. I continue glassing the area looking for the orange birds but they never reappear. I see a red-breasted woodpecker skulking on a tree trunk. Then a trio of male American Goldfinches begins to dominate my field of vision. At one point they all alight for a mutual drink on a muddy spit in the middle of the lagoon. I decide to move on to a different spot.

I think there are different kinds of birders. Some are obsessed with building their life list, and they will go anywhere and pay anything to do it. I can’t see ever becoming like that. I’m not that interested in taking birding trips. What I am interested in is the ecology of the place around me. I like to find out what lives nearby and what they do all day. At the moment, I happen to be focused on birds. Part of this is seeing who stops by on their migratory routes. That is where the big chance comes to see some really different birds. But I am content to study our resident population. After all, we are sharing the same space and the more I know about them, the better I can learn how to share.

5. I cross over to the typically more heavily used section of the park. However, the stone bridge leading into this section from the main entrance has been closed due to unstable conditions. The city and county are duking it out as to who will foot the bill to fix it. In the meantime, all the dogwalkers have to find another way into the park. I walk around, enjoying the subsequent light foot traffic, and spot some of the usual suspects: White-breasted Nuthatches, juvenile American Robins, Tree Swallows, more Red-bellied Woodpeckers. I watch one eat a large berry.

6. I walk over to the dam to see if there are any interesting birds fishing over there. All I see is a mockingbird, though. The sun is starting to dip in the sky a bit, and the skeeters are coming out. I decide to start walking back through the park toward my bike, which is miles away at this point.

I like serendipitous bird sightings. Like when I’m eating breakfast and an unexpected bird arrives at the feeder. Or when I’m out doing something else, taking a walk or whatever, and I see a cool bird. There is something about setting out to go birding that seems weird to me. If I think, I am going birding, then I know I will see at least some birds, and quite possibly something I haven’t seen before. So I am expecting it. But when it comes as a total surprise it is that much more enjoyable. I prefer to think, I am going to take a walk in the woods, and maybe I will see some cool birds.

7. I am feeling a bit dejected as I cross the light rail tracks and take the fork in the trail that more closely follows the shore of the lake. Suddenly, I look up and I’m at eye-level with a juvenile Yellow-crowned Night-Heron! Probably having just awoke from its afternoon roost, the bird is perched about 10 feet away on a tree trunk jutting out onto the lake. We stare each other down for a moment. I train the field glasses on the bird as it saunters farther up the tree, at one point opening its mouth wide and sticking its tongue out! Then it disappears into the tree’s foliage. I walk on a bit farther to a good spot to look out over the lake at one of the nearby islands. It’s here where I come upon a trio of evening fishers. I immediately spot an adult Night-Heron, but it ducks away before I’m able to tell if it’s a Yellow-crowned or Black-crowned. Next in my field of vision is a Belted Kingfisher on top of a dead tree, scouting out its terrain. Not far from the Kingfisher, a Great Blue Heron wades in the shallows.

I stop by my favorite spot one more time, but not much is going on there so I pick my way back up the trail to my bike and ride off into the fading light.

That was it for the day!

woodpecker family

This morning I looked out the bathroom window and discovered a red-bellied woodpecker family (father, mother & juvenile) hitching up a nearby tree. As I got ready for work and ate breakfast, the family stayed active in the side yard. The male would fly up to the feeder and start hammering away at sunflower seeds, and the female and juvenile would stay close by and wait for him in a tree. Then they would all fly off together into the treetops. This happened repeatedly as I sat at the table eating breakfast. The female and juvenile never came to the feeder, but always waited in the closest tree for Mr. Woodpecker to crack a few seeds. It was a pleasant domestic scene and a great way to start the day!

P.S. Later in the evening the male woodpecker was back with his young charge. The juvenile waited in the tree while the male went to the feeder. When the male returned to the tree, he pecked a tiny well in the trunk, dropped some seeds in, and cracked them open. Then he fed them to the juvenile and returned to the feeder. After he left, the juvenile poked around impatiently in the well looking for more seed.

dinner guest

[photo by Denis-Carl Robidoux, used under Creative Commons]
As I sat down at the table for dinner last night, I looked out the window and there was a barred owl in a nearby tree staring right back at me with its depthless black eyes (think Brother Justin in Carnivale). The owl hung out there on the same branch for a good 45 minutes. At one point, a ragtag band of songbirds landed on some branches about six feet away from the owl and raised a noisy ruckus, trying to scare it away. But it remained impassively in place, occasionally swiveling its big head from left to right, or lifting a talon to scratch its fluffy body. Every once in a while something would catch its interest and it would zero in for a closer look. Clearly the owl’s presence had stirred up the local songbird population, as the air was resonant with nervous chatter and warning cries. A predator in our midst! Raise the shields! I found myself cheering on the brave cluster of titmice, chickadees, and cardinals that threw down their petty differences to unite against a common foe. It was quite a dinnertime show!

i’m not too sure about this flatt & scruggs cd…

Well, my new field glasses finally arrived. I’m totally stoked. I gave up my Friday bike ride to wait for UPS, a decision for which the ramifications of are just now being made known. It’s never good for me to stay in the house most of the day. Regardless, I’ve been making good use of my time by spying on the birds. Upon closer inspection of the nuthatches I’ve decided that they are the street toughs of the songbird world. Most songbirds are pretty cute, and even when they bicker it’s still cute. But the nuthatches are just kind of ragged and surly. And they look really mean when they scare off the other birds. They flare up their wings and open their beaks really wide. Despite this, they are very curious birds to watch, and they move around in the most bizarre ways. I realize I’m repeating myself about the nuthatches and that most people will find this incredibly boring, but I don’t care. In other news the robins nesting in the oak tree out front have had their babies. I was spying on them today and saw their little mouths open wide waiting for mom and dad to drop some goodies in. The cardinal young have grown to about teenage size. I spotted a young female at the feeder this morning. A lot of the adults are molting (unless they all have mites or some sort of disease, which seems unlikely), which means we’ve seen a lot of cardinals showing up lately sporting mohawks or vulture-like bald heads. It’s kind of creepy. I’ve been reading about the phenomenon online, and it’s been said to be uncommon, yet we’ve seen a lot of these birds recently.

miscellany

Some (or one) of the squirrels has finally figured out how to reach the birdfeeder. I don’t know how he did it…must’ve scaled the outside wall of the house because it’s too far to jump from the nearest tree. The other day he was sitting in the tray under the feeder, filling his face with seed. Today he was actually sitting on the feeder itself. When I scared him, he leapt off the feeder, which is a good 20 feet up, and flew through the air, landing square on his feet on the ground. I was impressed, to say the least. Hopefully it’s just been a fluke, but I tend to think he’s probably out there spreading the word to all his squirrel buddies.

There have been a lot of nuthatches around and they’ve gotten really bossy. They flare up their wings and scare off the smaller birds. For some reason, they remind me of the Joker in Batman.

The mourning doves eat tons of seed. Right now there are four of them on top of the birdfeeder and another two sitting on the ledge. It’s ridiculous. They are also really messy eaters, but luckily the new tray catches most of what they dump out as they eat. I think they work in tandem: one sits on the feeder ledge scooping seed off the edge down to the one below that’s sitting in the tray. Actually I don’t think they’re bright enough to be doing this on purpose, but it sure seems that way.

I finally spotted a hummingbird at the feeder out front. That was exciting!

Yesterday I went for a 50 mile bike ride. I saw a deer, a groundhog, a rabbit, chipmunks, squirrels, and a lot of birds: the full roster of suburban wildlife. I have too much time on my hands, and I feel like I fritter it away. I don’t do anything productive. I sit and watch the birds or I ride my bike. I drink too much coffee. Sometimes I cook or bake. This morning I made a no-bake pie. It took about 5 minutes. I’m not dissatisfied or discontent. Or maybe I am. I don’t know. I just feel like I waste a lot of time. But I’m not sure what I could be doing that would make me feel better about how I spend my time. I guess that mostly I regret not writing more, but I’m just not motivated right now. And when you’re not motivated, nothing good comes out.

I’m glad it’s summer. I’m glad I’ve had so many opportunities to go on long rides. I wish my friends hadn’t left, but I know they’re having a great time.

I wish I knew what I should be doing with myself.

beginning of the end

>Yesterday was my birthday. Thank you to the one or two people who read this thing who helped me to celebrate. We ate mock meat and chocolate cake. It was a pleasant ending to a day that had been very much like many other recent days: drab and predictable, with a sprinkling of trepidation. Going to work these days is like watching a slow-motion trainwreck. Every couple of days a couple of more people quit and head for more stable ground. The rest of us just cluster around with deer-in-the-headlights looks in our eyes. We are marked for the upcoming cull and we all know it. Those who care enough to stay on this sinking ship participate in the appropriate shady back-room soul-selling dealings necessary to retain some semblance of employment. I, however, can’t make myself care. Either we get the contract or we don’t. Even getting the contract doesn’t guarantee me employment past September, though, so maybe it doesn’t matter if we get it or not. I feel like this is supposed to happen. I feel like life should kick the chair out from under me; after all, I have been leaning a bit too far back in it. I deserve to be left hanging. What sways me these days, as usual, are words on the page and melodies in my ears. These things don’t pay the bills, but they move me in a way that work never has. As always, I look to the birds for some wordless answers to my vague unfocused questions. Their behavior, unlike mine, is strictly dictated by the harsh rules of nature. Survival of the fittest doesn’t apply to me. I can be rather unfit and still survive. Maybe it would be better if I had to physically struggle just to feed myself. Maybe then I wouldn’t have all these questions in my head…all this existential effluvia constantly choking my more rational thinking. Maybe when I lose my job I will become a hunter-gatherer.

our eyes point forward, not backward

As I sat in the kitchen this morning, I looked up from my coffee and newspaper to see a pair of red-winged blackbirds alight on the feeder. What a pleasant surprise it was to see those bright red and yellow patches against a pitch black field of feathers, even more pronounced with the white snowy trees behind. It set my morning off right.

This recent trouble of straying from the now vexes me. It shakes me that even at this point in my life, those feelings can still find me and shuck away my not easily acquired confidence and security. As I stare down the irrational, shooing it away with the love pumping vigorous through my heart’s valves, I am reminded of the need for constant vigilance. I am a human and I am imperfect. At any time, I can unfortunately revisit my past, with all its mistakes, steps untaken, and warped thoughts and feelings. This keeps me vulnerable, while at the same time reminding me of how far I’ve come. The damage cannot be undone, but it can be healed. It can also, with practice, be looked at objectively, learned from, and recognized as a point I have moved far beyond. And I need to allow myself to also see other people’s pasts in this same light. For we are all living together in the now, and what matters most is what happens between us in the present. It is also in part what determines the future. So, in that regard, it is much stronger than what lies in the past. The now is the essence of our resilience as humans. The now is where you and I are, building our lives together one moment at a time.

dilation

>All of a sudden the leaves show their colors. I walk under a sugar maple, its yellowness bright and enveloping to my dilated eyes. I fill the sunflower seed feeder; it empties in a day’s time. I watch the goldfinches clinging to the finch feeder. I see the woodpecker hammering in the trees, swiftly moving from spot to spot. And, just when I was thinking I haven’t seen any cardinals at the feeder in a while, an entire family of them drops in for a meal: females, males, and even a couple of juveniles! Yes, this is what gets me excited these days. Because the birds keep secrets. And no one but the birds can know them. Which is how it should be. But guessing at them still holds strong appeal. Especially for a housebound frustrated writer like myself.

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