hypothesis: mitt romney is a cat

Given that 2% of Americans think Mitt Romney’s first name is Mittens,

And that my childhood cat’s name was Mittens,

And that Mitt Romney’s first name is actually Willard,

And that my neighbor’s cat’s name is Willard,

I conclude that Mitt Romney is a cat.

There are two possible explanations for why he does not resemble a cat during public appearances. Either he is (1) a shape-shifter or (2) a cat in a man suit.

Please do not challenge me on this. I don’t want to hear it. Have a good day now.

2 Comments

by sean on January 11, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in cats, presidential candidates, theories

Posted by sean on January 11, 2012

https://sd-stewart.com/2012/01/11/hypothesis-mitt-romney-is-a-cat/

2 Comments

ashley
/ January 11, 2012

I am going to go with (1). I will ask him about it during one of his many appearances in SC this week.

Reply
- birds fly
  / January 11, 2012
  
  Thanks. I’m glad you’re on the ground down there. When this story breaks I’ll need all the help I can get. I can already see the CNN headline: “Unknown Blogger ‘Lets Cat Out of Bag,’ Exposes Mitt Romney’s Secret Feline Identity.” Maybe a book deal will surface.
  
  Reply