Hello, I’m here for a job interview.

Oh, are you.

Yes, I was called in. I have an appointment.

Hmph. I doubt that.

Excuse me?

That’s not how we work. We don’t call people in. We don’t do that.

But I received a message. It said to come in. Today. This morning.

Who was the message from.

I don’t know. Some person.

Does this person have a name.

I don’t remember. I deleted the message. Isn’t there an appointment schedule you can check? Or maybe there is someone else I can speak with?

I’m afraid not. Just me here today. And there is no appointment schedule because, as I said, we don’t call people in. We’re not that kind of place. We don’t work that way.

But you are hiring…

We might be looking to fill a position, yes. It’s a possibility. Not my specific area, mind you, but I’ve heard things, you know, in the hallways.

Well, this is confusing. Should I come back then? Is there a time today when someone who might know more about this will be around?

It’s difficult for me to say. After all, I don’t want to make an empty promise. I don’t want to say, ‘Yes, come back at 1 o’clock,’ only to disappoint you if no one is here.

Oh, well, should I come back at 1 then?

Did it sound like you should come back at 1?

I’m not sure. Maybe?

No one will be here at 1. That was just an example.

Fine. Then when will someone else be here? Perhaps someone more helpful.

Are you saying I’m not helpful.

More helpful. I said more helpful. I understand this isn’t your specialty, but I am interested in the job and would like to follow through on the interview.

What interview. I told you, we don’t do that. We don’t hold interviews.

Okay, fine. I’m leaving now. Maybe I will try back again later when someone else is around.

Good luck with that. Have a nice day.

[front door closes]

[coworker enters from stage left, sits down]

Was that the applicant leaving?

Yes.

I see. Have you made a decision?

Let’s just say the position is still open.

Any particular reason why? We can’t delay hiring much longer.

Well, you know what they say…some people just don’t interview well at all.

Hmm. Yes, I have heard that. Fine, then. Will you call the next one on the list? And make sure to enter the appointment in the schedule this time so I know when to be here.

I certainly will.